The Depository of Abstruse Musical Names

NAMES WITHOUT FRONTIERS 

It’s a hard world to make a break in.  All of the good things have been taken.  Or perhaps not...  If you find every good name for your new band, album, track, movie or whatever seems to have already been thought of, try some of our good things for the taking.  Feel free to use these names in any way you like that doesn’t harm anyone, and feel free to add your own suggestions - use Add Message at the bottom of the page.  Any suggestions we like will be added to the list, and you might be rewarded with a free track!  Note, though, that we take no responsibility for any way that any of these names might have already been used or might in any way infringe on copyright, trade names or good taste.


ARTIST NAMES 

  • Girlfrenzy 
  • The Patsies 
  • Worst Case Scenario Speedwagon 
  • The Jazz Canvassers 
  • Sonic Water 
  • MC Square
  • The New Normal 
  • Incidental as Anything 
  • The No True Scotsmen 
  • Televangelis 
  • Au Fait Boomers 
  • Resonant Evil 
  • Bill, a Gorilla 
  • Clandestiny’s Lovechild 
  • Faye Dunaway and Radiate 
  • The Sellout Crowd 
  • The Nimbytweens 
  • April Mae Jejune 
  • The Police of Mind 
  • The Symptom 
  • Small Prince 
  • Mind Gravy 
  • These Pretentious Determiners 
  • The Never Trumpeters 
  • Two Boyds, One Stoned 
  • The Wolftones 
  • The Weakened 
  • Igneous Pop 
  • Das Überingenieure 
  • The Cute 
  • Flea Scratch Perry 
  • Hook, Line and Singer 
  • The Rockin’ Roller Co-Stars 
  • Cray Z 
  • The Unthinkable 
  • Fatty Acid 
  • The Yeah Nah Yeahs 
  • The Apostrophe’s 
  • The Kids These Days 
  • Arthur O’Sclerosis 
  • Nervous Rex 
  • The Nowhere Band 
  • The Cacophones 
  • The Useless 
  • Sounds Like Cancer 
  • Sam’n’Patty 
  • The Fretted Species 
  • Johnny Deep 
  • The Blue Rye Band 
  • The Derivatives 
  • The Probably Gay 
  • Animal Magnet 
  • The Golden Meanies 
  • The I Don’t Get It 
  • The Clever Clogs 
  • La-la Lana 
  • The Sensory Overlords 
  • The Overexaggerators 
  • Bullet, the Blues Guy 
  • Rocky Mountain Wayne 
  • The Tragically Hiphop 
  • Warren T and the Void 
  • The Comical Brothers 
  • Kitsch’n’sync 
  • One Cheap Trick 
  • The Blowhards 
  • The Dim Simians
  • Anne O'Dyne 
  • People who Enjoy being Electrocuted 
  • Unaesthetic Drips 
  • Imaginary Icelanders 
  • Katie Like Hellua 
  • The Hip Replacements 
  • King Kibbutz 
  • Mal Afroprism 
  • The Psychobillionaires 
  • The Unconscious Collective 
  • The Binson Burners 
  • Lou's Losers 
  • The Not Bad 
  • The Sharp Instruments 
  • Wasabian 
  • The Euphemystics 
  • Vlad the Tame Impaler 
  • The Penis Envoys 
  • Seth Efrica 
  • The New Celebrides 
  • Afraidiohead 
  • Hiphop Horatio 
  • Très Bien Ensemble 
  • The Warm Gentle Machine 
  • The Cumulo Ninjas 
  • The Hooves 
  • Stella Overdrive 
  • Bon Appertiver 
  • John the Boptist 
  • The One Track Ponies 
  • Marty Pants 
  • Drex'n'Suggs 
  • The Vajazzleers 
  • The Cup of Tea 
  • Luke Warm 
  • The Ernie Ballbreakers 
  • Tierce de Picardie 
  • The Interested Party 
  • The Living Parody  
  • the Moonlight Sinatras 
  • The Damaged Gods 
  • The Bloody Sundays 
  • Blood Lollies 
  • Cute Death for Cabbie 
  • Biffo 
  • The Knobs 
  • The Artbreakers 
  • Horst Graben 
  • The Sigh Collective 
  • The Whistleblowers 
  • The Dangling Chads 
  • The Jazz Lamborghinis 
  • The Little Things that Count 
  • Wäat de Föck 
  • Charlotte Ann 
  • the Electric Choir 
  • The Times New Romantics 
  • Bangers & Mash 
  • Boogie Two-Shoes 
  • Bill Bruilding 
  • Helena Handbasket 
  • the Creeping Americanists 
  • Yoicks and Away 
  • Two Crows from Tacos 
  • the Loudmouthed Schnooks 
  • Love Monster 
  • Mrs Toasty 
  • Bar 13 
  • the Faintly Ridiculous 
  • Josh Rogan 
  • the Damp Squib 
  • the Popeye Dolls 
  • Lifestyle Crumpet 
  • the Young Pyjamas 
  • the Adults 
  • Johnny Nobody  
  • Bonox 
  • The New Fandangos 
  • Casual T 
  • King Hell 
  • Phyllis Stein 
  • The Funny 
  • The Dribs 
  • The Drabs 
  • Art Jokes 
  • The Tequila Mockingbirds 
  • Alex the Seal 
  • Olive, the Other Reindeer 
  • Eew 
  • Lords of Ambivalence 
  • Gotya 
  • An Electric Elk Called Simon 
  • Gefingerpoken und mittengraben 
  • Der Blinkenlichten 
  • Tüza Münenbeck 
  • Snafu Prawns 
  • The Small, Good Thing 
  • The Unclean 
  • The Eclectrics 
  • The Coustic 
  • Overwrought Iron Maidens  
  • Helen Bach 
  • The Unsayables 
  • Ambience Chasers 
  • The Mild Hungarians 
  • The Artisan Brats 
  • The Mission Creeps 
  • Tongue and Groove-bored 
  • The Gay Old-Timers 
  • The Lemmingtons 
  • Front Bottom 
  • Alan 
  • Short Back and the Sides 
  • Upsahd da Hayad 
  • Thierry del Fuego 
  • The Penny Drops 
  • Snud 
  • The Beatless 
  • Robert Faceplant 
  • English Pigeon 
  • The Calathumpians 
  • Fuzzpox 
  • The Lapsed Catflaps 
  • Suburban Angsters 
  • The Electric Chairmen 
  • The Moist Vowelettes 
  • The Mauvists 
  • Salt’n'Battery 
  • Me and my Big Mouth 
  • Toast-a-Muffin 
  • The Liminal Criminals 
  • The How/the Why 
  • Ambioncé 
  • the Anodynamics 
  • Lunch Mob 
  • Electric People 
  • the Mooks 
  • the Wanker Brothers 
  • Tucked-in Tees 
  • These Charming Men 
  • The Happy Campers 
  • Carson O'Genocide 

ALBUMS 

  • Soul Cerebration 
  • Grab 'em by Debussy
  • Ooh Shiny 
  • Tutu Tango
  • Those Songs are not going to Write Themselves 
  • Rock’n’Roll Will Never Go Away 
  • Fee Fi Ho Hum
  • Castles Made of Sad 
  • Wub is in the Air 
  • Give Me a Break 
  • Rock’n’rack’n’ruin 
  • Artisan Whine 
  • Bassless Allegrations 
  • Kick Back to the Click Track 
  • Electric Bloopers 
  • Rockin' Droll 
  • Typical 
  • Everybody Shut Up 
  • Riffbuster 
  • Musical Differences 
  • Rocket Surgery 
  • Rewarded for Mediocrity 
  • Is This Thing On? 
  • Bleak is the New Black 
  • Death by a Thousand Clichés 
  • Pain Window 
  • Surface Tension 
  • We Just Can’t Have Nice Things 
  • A Blip on the Radio 
  • Body Snap  
  • Scenes from the Death of Chivalry  
  • The Language of Seduction  
  • The Seduction of Language  
  • Of the Seduction Language 
  • Seduction of the Language 
  • Language Seduction the of 
  • Floral Notes 
  • Let's Get Bored 
  • That Can’t be Good for You 
  • This Time it’s Personal 
  • Thank You Very Chordally 
  • Electric Silence 
  • Kiss My Art 
  • The Charisma Tree 
  • Panty Anthems 
  • Invected Psephology in Architecture 
  • I Give You My Word 
  • French for Beige 
  • Do You Like Planets? 
  • London to a Brick 
  • New Yesterday 
  • Cold Hard Kiss 
  • The Long Beep 
  • Sibelian Interregnum 
  • A Boxful of Rain 
  • I Sing the Booty Electric

 

 

MOVIES & TV 

How many times have you sat through the end credits only to not find your name there?  You could swear you didn't blink!  That's because those Hollywood fat cats don't know a good film composer when they hear one.  Get your name up in lights with these non-optioned titles! 

  • Drop Dead, Gorgeous 
  • Groundhog Day 2 
  • Aks an Orthoepist
  • To Die From 
  • Plotless 
  • Mr Minor Misdemeanour 
  • He's a Celebrity Get Him Out of Here 
  • Capital Offensive 
  • No, You a Fool
  • Heaven's Snakes 
  • Drop Dead, Gorgeous 
  • Homage to Catatonia 
  • Planet of the Archetypes 
  • Don’t Make Me Come Up There 
  • Wrestle Down the Wind 
  • Planet of the Amazon Delivery Drones 
  • Tara's Bullbar 
  • Raised by Gerbils 
  • By Far and Away 
  • This is the Thanks I Get 
  • Dalliance Française 
  • Excusez Mon Français 
  • Agatha Christie's The Proof in the Pudding 
  • Paws – the Movie 
  • The Scent of Pink Pussy Willows 
  • Baking Bread 
  • What Would You Miss if You were Dead? 
  • Lick Both Ways 
  • A Very Long Engorgement 
  • Funding Dowry 
  • Magpies: Terror in the Suburbs 
  • Nightmare Café 
  • 1000 Ways (of Being Inappropriate) 
  • Piggy Might Fly 
  • Prospectude Factos 
  • Sold a Pup 
  • Gone to God 
  • A Case of Death 
  • Sing One S'more 
  • It Happened One Lunchtime 
  • I Love You, Cyril Connolly
  • Master of Nuns

 

LABELS 

It always boosts your credibility to be signed to a label, however imaginary.  If these labels don't exist, they should, and you should be their headline artist! 

  • Artifice 
  • Sub Liminal 
  • Ageratum 
  • Alopetia 
  • Ammonia Mundi 
  • Lyrical Wax 
  • Iconoclastic Plastic 
  • Artless 
  • Chill Factory 

 

GENRES 

Be an instant pioneer with these cool new genres.  

  • TDM 
  • Trounce 
  • Franciscan Punk 
  • Woop-de-Doowop 
  • Ars Pathetica 
  • Hyperbolic Chamber 
  • Mom’n’pop 
  • Ambicore 
  • Porncore 
  • Existential Funk 
  • Rogressive Prock 
  • Crock 
  • Kindcore 
  • Coco Pop 
  • Grindcorn 
  • Psychobabblegum 
  • Plodcore 
  • Drub 
  • Snivelcore 
  • Twangle 
  • Dweebcore 
  • Orchestral for a Knave 
  • Indie House 
  • Gender Trance 
  • Hard Choral 
  • Christcore 
  • Samplecore 
  • Urban Country 
  • Groancore 
  • Revox Pop

SONGS 

  • B*tch Don't Trash my Brand
  • I Walk the Lion 
  • Sweet Anodyne 
  • That Wasn’t What You Were Supposed to Say 
  • Affair in Campari (thanks Paul Schütze) 
  • Woke Up with a Feelin’ 
  • Turn Me Off 
  • Love Stinks 
  • Crying in My Mind  
  • Jesus, Take the Wii Controller 
  • Get Back Up 
  • One Pant Walking 
  • You’re So Final 
  • The Folding Cartographer 
  • Take it from Her  
  • You’re not Welcome in my Confessional 
  • The Wind Blows Goodbye  
  • He Won’t Love You Any More  
  • I'm An Arsehole - I'm A Saint  
  • Goodbye Belongs to Yesterday 
  • You give me what you need 
  • Back to the End of the Beginning 
  • All These Words Of Thoughts I Know I Am 
  • Butcher Boy 
  • The Path Already 
  • My eyes won’t see you, and my heart won’t cry 
  • Nothing’s the Matter 
  • Baby That was Beers Ago 
  • It's Your Problem, Not Mine 
  • I Never Loved You - I Just Wanted To Get Closer To Myself 
  • I May Not've Loved You - But Through You I Met Me 
  • You, Beautiful Phantom  
  • All Over You  
  • The Crass is Always Cleaner 
  • I Wanna 
  • I Don’t Wanna 
  • Infernal Flame  
  • Let's be Bothered 
  • The Sky’s in Love with You 
  • On the Yeah

 

MUSICAL TERMS 

Your credibility is never higher than when you can bewilder the otherwise well-informed with a knowledge of esoteric terminology.  We can supply you with terminology so esoteric that it doesn't actually exist: 

  • Anacrisis (n) : missing the first note in Flight of the Bumblebee.  Also known as Pickup F*ckup 
  • Saxophobe (n): a person who has heard Kenny G 
  • Syncophant (n) : a person who sucks up to the down beat 
  • Plectrician (n) : guitarist playing in the style favoured by tradesmen 
  • Obstinato (n) : when the bass player refuses to play a repeated line unless he gets to do a solo 
  • Entertrainment (n) : music used by sideshow hypnotists to make you imitate a chicken 
  • Introversion (n) : a chord voiced so that it isn't heard 
  • Behemouth (n) : a crooner of biblical proportions 

 

ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS 

Having your name against a campaign for some major corporation or exciting new product has the distinct whiff of professionalism.  And because these ones don't exist, you can never be accused of selling out. 

  • the Dodge Bullet 
  • the Ford Stream 
  • the Pontiac Sebago 
  • Plunkett guitars 
  • Mea Cuppa
  • Hickory Daiquiri 
  • Heaven's Snacks 
  • New Think Inc. 
  • Fuss Trading 
  • Love Force Ale 
  • Dr Hackenbush Gardening Services
  • Ancient Wisdom Technologies 
  • Esprit Decor 
  • Mr Spot Painting Services 
  • United Futilities 
  • Tax Aversion Therapies Pty Ltd 
  • the Sitting Down is for Losers campaign 
  • Class Warfarin 
  • Brokelads Blokebets 
  • What Bicycle is your Beard? 
  • The Mitsubishi Goddamn 
  • Pasta Way 
  • Alpha Leather

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